After a number of weeks recovering in a very positive way I fell into an incredible depression this week. I have barely got out of bed and don't want to do anything. Unfortnately it is my youngest sons birthday party this evening and I have too!
It seems to have stemmed from eating again! I have been eating for 2 weeks as instructed by my consultant and over the last fortnight I have been in absolute agongy with my tounge. It is really sore down both sides and hurts alot when I eat - but more so as the day wares on. Therefore by dinner time I really can't eat. The pain is so bad and has really got me down as I don't want to hurt anymore. I have had enough pain this year (I am now crying again!). I get scared that it is the cancer come back somewhere else as there are lumps down my tounge.
I have been using bongella which eases the pain temporarily. I really need some help and advice. It is a real shame because I am down to only waking once a night instead of every half hour when I was at my worst and my throat is recovering well.
Right I better blow up balloons - luckily my wonderful Mum is coming over to organise the party because I just can't and it isn't fair for Jack to loose out because of me - my kids have gone through enough this year