Four men were playing their weekly game of golf when one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning,
roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his friends and play a round of golf.

His friends all chimed in and said, 'Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, work out a way to do it and meet here early on Christmas morning.'

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.

The first man says, 'My word! This game has cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it.'

The second man says, 'I spent a lot too. My wife's at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.'

The third man says 'Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.'

They all turn to the fourth man who is staring at them as though they have lost their minds.

'I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the backside and said,

'Well my dear, a Merry Christmas to you.
It's an absolutely perfect morning for sex or golf' and she said, 'Take a sweater with you...' Smiler
Original Post
I am not sure if you fancy Golf as a sport to be played daily. I do play a little but am just an ametuer ( just thrashed Tiger a couple of times!!Smiler and felt you ought to get a golf joke too and then followed by a cricket one. What say? So here goes:

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession.

One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement.

The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect DOUBLE EAGLE! He was amazed and excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him."

God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"

Decided to kick the cricket bit as felt this was more appropriate.
Money is not everything...

There's MasterCard & Visa!

One should love animals...
They are so tasty!

Save water...
Shower with your girl friend!

Love thy neighbor...
But don't get caught!

Behind every successful man, there is a woman...
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!

Every man should marry...
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Wise men never marry...
And, when they marry they become *otherwise*.

Children in backseats cause accidents...
Accidents in backseats cause children!

"Hard work never killed anybody..."
But why take the risk!

"Work fascinates me!"
I can look at it for hours!!

God made relatives...
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know...
The more you know, the more you forget!
The more you forget, the less you know...
So... why learn?!

Love is photogenic...
It needs darkness to *develop*!

Take care and merry Xmas.
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around -- in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.

He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive.
The more he chided her -- the more agitated he became.

He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."

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