I know I have been out of touch with you all for quite some time and though have posted a few things here and there, it was nearly always in a state of hurry. As things settle down, with the climate changing -I decided to write to each one of my special friends turn by turn and check it out - you stand at number one on the list. I decided to dedicate each one with a joke that most probably you may not have read earlier - so here goes yours -something that cannot be listed as anti men or anti women but just a couple of lines and one reasonably adult joke.
With lots and lotrs of love, xxx and hugs,
Hope you enjoy them and have a good laugh.
Here we go....
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
" A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for
Strength I'll just beat him to death "
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
Husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps
it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at
the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the f**k up."