Remember I had remarked we would get on like a house on fire - well its a start as we have started the with the spark and hope the fire really grows.
I started with the French but that does not let any other nationalities off the hook - even Indian and Spanish!!!
The bit about wanting to marry a German girl was out of the world and its things like this that can bring a smile to a persons face and each smile makes it a better day.
So with much ado and with no hard feeling to any nationality (just laught along), With my love and hugs to all and please dont let me keep repeating it - only the girls get the kisses!!!!
Here we go,
My contribution of the day:
MORON OF AN INDIAN
An Indian finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.
"Oh Rama, Oh Krishna,please help me!!I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well.Please let me win the lotto". The Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
The Indian goes back to the temple and moans- "Oh Rama, Oh Krishna , please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and the Indian still has no luck!!
Back to the temple... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Indian is confronted by the voice of the God: HEY YOU IDIOT, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A DAMN TICKET".
A SMART INDIAN
There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
SO YOU WANT TO BECOME AN INDIAN POLITICIAN?
Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections ----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Name of Candidate : _______________________
2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________
3. Political Party : _______________________ (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)
4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Others
5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian
6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above
7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)
8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs
9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)
10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ] (Do not confuse with question 8)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years
11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.
12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow... (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)
13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No
14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]
Thumb Impression of candidate (Not that of the person who filled the form)