I found a book called Cancers of the Mouth and Throat: A Patient's Guide to Treatment by Lydiatt and Johnson at my local library over the weekend. It's written in a very reassuring tone (not the "OMG!!! You're gonna die!!!" style of most internet searches). The authors are an ENT and a reconstructive surgeon from Nebraska and they cover things like staging and corresponding treatments; explain the M and N numbers; and even discuss things like eating and various after-effects. It was fascinating and I really wish I'd had a copy when my own adventure started.
I checked it out this weekend, with the intention of showing it to my doc on Wednesday. It's as close to Oral Cancer For Dummies as one is likely to find.